My Friends,
Since this is my first blog ever….. I have to say I am relatively nervous…..
This blog is all about finding myself. I’m going to share every aspect of who and what I am and my love (or lack of love) with food, cooking, booze, men, sex, family etc. There will be no stone left unturned and nothing I will hide. I will take you on all my travels with me and open the deepest parts of me to you, my friend. We will live vicariously through each other.
However, I’m going to warn up you front that you need to prepare yourself mentally (and contact a good shrink prior) to go on this completely candid, brutally honest journey with me into my volatile word that can only be described as “From Betty Ford to Betty Crocker!” My personal theme. I promise you, my friend, that I will tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It is my own warped perception of the truth (as I perceive it), through my own hazy, alcohol induced blacked out glasses.
To begin with I’m a 40 year old bombshell. I mean the kind of girl that a room goes completely quiet when I walk into it and everyone turns to look at me. My friends describe me as “Jerry Seinfeld trapped in Jessica Rabbit’s body.” There is a lot of truth to that but then you can be the judge of that.
I am recently divorced with two special needs kids, an adulterer (for 3 years now), no job, no direction, living off my trust fund allowance, a terrible golf handicap, sexually frustrated and to top of it all off- a self induced alcohol problem due to a idenity crisis- or lack of one (self identity that is…not the alcohol one- that one suits me just fine). I am also an amazing cook, a caterer, an acupuncturist, and an excellent mother.
My thoughts are definately jumbled and not very cohesive (this is due to the lack of sleep, lack of sex, and too much alcohol, but that’s obvious). But bear with me and I gaurantee I will expose myself as honestly and candidly as possbile to you, my friend. That is, if you can stand all the incomplete sentences and spelling errors. A definate downer from someone who was an english major in college. My father is very proud.
All my stories and all the drama surrounding them are 100% exactly how they happenned in reality.
If you would like to join me on my journey into finding myself- buckle your seat belt.
I’m getting ready to tip the nose of this plane up instead of down!
Welcome my Friends! You can be the judge and jury!
love,
The Gourmet Bombshell