The mood at my happy dinner party is shifting rather dramatically since I’m getting my medical kit ready and basically anticipating the arrival of the police at any moment while I’m simultaneously trying to give myself an wine IV to calm my nerves and steady my hand (gotta love the logic behind this!!!)  I’ve got the radio on (actually my crappy laptop with whatever few songs I have on it, since my Ipod decided to crash.  Go figure, since I dropped it in the toilet again….they just dont make things the way the used to….).  I turn up the computer as loud as it goes (all I have is Sade- which is wonderful music but not the best for this particular situation) to cover up the screaming.  Not the most effective thing.

My phone is still going off every few minutes giving me a blow by blow of what my psychotic ex, married, lover is doing.  Since we are no longer together (we broke up- he told his wife, blah, blah, blah)  people still decide that they have to tell me every time he screws up.  I’m trying to decide if I need to intervene or not or just stay out of it…I’m in the mist of a deep emotional panic.  You know the kind, where your looking around you frantically and your heart is racing and you think might go Mel Gibson on someone.  However, I resemble some form of control by pretending to look around all around me soaking it all in.  It really is beautiful here, my friends are great, the food is fabulous, my dog looks like a huge white rat since I shaved him, etc….  I’m now well into starting my second bottle to keep the panic down.  I’m coming up with ideas of how to get him out of jail.  I focus on my beautiful home made Arribatta pasta.  I really am smooth. 

I’m fooling nobody.

Then as quickly as it all starts, it is dead quiet.  And I mean dead quiet.

I get another text.  They put him in his car and sent him home.  Whew!!!  I’m shaken and scared but beyond relieved.

The drama of loving someone who is crazy.  I get what I deserve…..